February 2, 2010

kids are weird...

But in a good way...usually. At the very least, they're interesting. Here are a few things that I have learned in third grade:

1. Blue water is amazing: yes, water dyed with food coloring FASCINATES and TOTALLY EXCITES third graders.  Used for a science demonstration, all the kids were practically going into convulsions with their pleas to drink some.

2. They are the MacGyvers of the kid set: Third graders can take any regular household object (a-la-MacGyver style) and create what can only be described as some sort of art or robot or imaginary shooting device. The first week of school I had to confiscate all the paper clips they had found and the cap erasers I'd given them because of all the supplies they were "wasting" on their little 3-D projects. 

3. Customs agents would freak out: if any of these kids tried to enter the country from another land because they wouldn't hesitate to stuff an exotic animal or really anything non-exotic into their suitcases as a souvenir. Some of the things they've brought into the classroom include: worms, icicles, berries from the trees along the walking track, bugs, chipmunks (granted, that one was actually in a cage, but still), rocks, sand, sticks, and one dead frog. 

4. Ticker tape parades, confetti-throwing, and cymbal-crashing would be among the top choices of attention-getting gimicks they would use to entice a new kid to be their friend on said new kid's first day. Bless their hearts, third graders LOSE THEIR MINDS when a new kid enrolls in the class. It's as though they've never seen another child from outside their world. They all act insane, in the hopes of getting new kid's attention. Then when the new wears off, they complain about new kid just like they do everyone else. That's when the new kid knows he's "in." 

5. No passing zone! My word, this third grade class I'm teaching this year is VERY concerned with where they are in line and it doesn't matter if we're going to lunch or taking a bathroom break...whatever you do....don't pass. Granted, it is rather rude to pass someone when we're all going to the same place, but it is not the end-of-my-life-end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it if Bobby Sue gets to the toilet two seconds before I do. I guess since third graders don't have to worry about taxes and grocery shopping, their place in line must be what they lie awake at night mulling over. I wonder if they try to think up new strategies to improve their line placement skills: Tomorrow when Bobby Sue starts to line up I'll distract her by dropping my jacket on the floor and when she leans down to pick it up, I'll jump ahead of her and (*insert evil villain laugh here*) I'll be in front of her in line...maybe even by two people!

6. Lotion-enhanced Kleenex tastes like mints. It's true! No, I didn't go around licking tissues, but my kids did. I guess without that kind of novel thinking, (hhhmmm....I wonder what THAT tastes like...I think I'll find out) we probably would have no clue how great the taste of Kiwi fruit is or how yummy cows taste when properly seasoned and grilled. 

7. If you can't see me, then you can't hear me either. WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP! WAP!....*breathing hard* "Mrs." *breathing hard* "Freeman?" *breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe*, "we're back from P.E." Uh, yeah..."Jimmy Joe - don't run in the hallways." 
"How did you know I was *breathe, breathe, breathe* running?" 

  8. If my pencil says I'm special, it must be true. Third graders are very possessive when it comes to their pencils. I hear countless wails of concern about Jimmy Joe having Bo Boy's pencil and Loretty Lou having Leroy Wayne's pencil, etc., etc., etc., It's a community classroom - if you can't find a pencil on your desk or in our pencil cup, look on the floor - there's bound to be at least 12 of them lying around and some of them might even have erasers...if no one has used it for a scuplture/robot/weapon yet. 

P.S. If you don't know who MacGyver is, click here:

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