August 12, 2010

Okay girlie, you can just go on ahead and get off your high horse there - yeah. You. I know. I KNOW it's not Wednesday and here I am posting my "WHY Wednesday" post on, well, Thursday, but COME ON. Don't you realize that we are just now wrapping up the first week of school and my little Hellions Darlin's have absolutely SUCKED THE LIFE OUT OF ME this week? Is it possible that these children are really not children at all, but rather some sort of other-worldly beings that are literally, slowly, sucking the life out of me? How is it possible for one person to be so dadgum tired after simply talking about rules, complete sentences, short vowels, and fantasy vs reality stories? I kid you not ya'll, I totally came home Monday and Tuesday and just passed out on the couch - the first night I managed to hook up my kids with some tasty pre-heated microwave meals, and on Tuesday, well, Chore Fairy Jr. was on her own, the two year old got vaguely warm chicken nuggets at 8pm and Kingdaddy and I skipped supper altogether.

I know what you're thinking now..."Well, what about Wednesday? Did you pass out that day too?" and the answer is, "No. No I did not." I was actually feeling pretty good, so I took advantage of the good feelings and empty house (Kingdaddy and TMan had gone to the homebuilding site - did I mention we're building? and Chore Fairy Jr. was on one of her walks around the neighborhood) by calling up Mom and chatting away with out constant interruptions. It was such bliss, especially after hearing my married name prefixed with "Mrs." all day long by 21 adorable kidlets. Almost always all at once, I might add. Sometimes I just want to say, "What the crud, dude? Can you NOT see I am TALKING to another human being (or possible otherworldy being, disguised as a third grade Alabamian)? DO NOT FLIPPIN INTERRUPT PEOPLE!! ERRRR!!!"

Okay. See what I'm talking about? I have totally been a ball of nerves and exhaustion most of the week, which makes being entertaining and interesting oh, so difficult. ***Insert "sigh" and exaggerated hair toss with hand placed delicately over forehead, Scarlett-style, here.*** I so totally deserved that little slice of peace and quiet, just talking about this and that. Sort of like I do on here. So, um, I guess I don't know why I didn't post yesterday, but I'm gonna go with in-my-aliens-are-sucking-the-life-out-of-me state, I didn't even actually REALIZE that yesterday was Wednesday until it wasn't Wednesday anymore and well, you know, by then it was just too late. ya' know. And I'm sure you're feeling so much better for it, right?

Whatever. Let's cut to the chase and examine a few "whys" for Why Wednesday Thursday (just this once - hopefully - depending on what the alien children do to me in the future).

***You know those times, when your angel decides that 3:30 am is a perfectly acceptable time to rise and shine for the day and you're desperately trying to keep him quiet so at least the rest of the household can sleep? WHY must he decide to play with the LOUDEST FREAKING TOY HE OWNS?? Why not the sweet, soft, stuffed (quiet) doggie? Why does it HAVE to be the firetruck, complete with fire engine sounds and flashing lights? WHY? Someone please tell me.

***Why can't dogs clear their throats? Why do they have to be destined to hack and cough as though they had a smoking habit for the past 50 years (or past 350 years in dog years)? Does your dog "hack" and do you try to "coerce" him into just stopping with all that unpleasantness? *Hack, hack, HACK, HACK.*

Excuse me. Pardon. I had to clear my throat.

* **Why does putting something cold on your head make it feel better when it aches? For real, there must be some sort of science behind that one ya'll. Enlighten me if you're all scientific and stuff. about some "whys" from ya'll. Keep 'em comin'! :)

PS I'd just like to take this opportunity to totally FREAK out with complete and total utter humiliating gushiness over the fact that, unless my Blog Frog visitor tracker is totally messing with me, ya'll, The Bloggess visited my blog!!!! I'm SO pumped up right now! Granted, she probably found it totally by mistake and lingered for roughly 1.4 seconds (okay, I won't sell myself short - 1.9 seconds) before clicking off to another much more fabulous blog, but who the heck cares?? She stopped by!!! She all but said, "hello" simply by checking in!!!! Maybe by this time next week we'll be BFF's and then we can both blog about how Diet Dr Pepper is messing with us all (is it REALLY Diet or not) and how everyone should totally own a James Garfield. Granted, I don't have anything as fabulous as her James Garfield, BUT I do lay claim to one Bob the Bobcat who watches over me as I type this very post, snarling pose and all. But back to the gushiness - YA'LL THE BLOGGESS FREAKING STOPPED BY HERE, so you're totally within 6 degrees of separation of total Blogdom Awesomeness. You can thank me later.


Simplegirl said...

Hi Malin, I'm coming from Bloggy moms and now I'm following your lovely blog.

Lisa said...

Hi! I'm your newest follower from Bloggy Moms!!! :) Nice to meet you!

Hope you'll come follow me back next.
Lisa xoxo

Unknown said...

New bloggy moms follower. Please join our community. You'll be featured for a week on the main page. - If it't something you're interested in please join.

I also have two blogs just browse and again if interested please join.

Ashley E. said...

Following from bloggy moms!

Sofia said...

You cracked me up! You are one funny lady! Hehehe...I sometimes wonder myself why on earth kids decide to wake up before 5am and decided to wake everyone up...and 2 hours later, once the entire household is awake they decide to go back to sleep!! Drives me crazy!
HEHE New follower...You should make a button for your blog so I can add it to my blog roll and come check your blog regularly 'cause if I don't have a little reminder, well, i forget...*said with a little girl's voice who is running out of air for talking so much and has to stop to gasp for air*
From PDX with Love

Sofia said...

I really liked your idea of Why you mind if I do the same on my blog? I'll give you credit for such an awesome idea! XD

From PDX with Love